If clothes make the man, accessories make the woman. And so it has been that for decades stylish ladies have adorned themselves with the trendiest accoutrements to finish their looks. Only, of late, it seems many have graduated beyond a Hermes scarf or the requisite bling accent, and onto an accessory that lives and breathes.

First, it was the puppy. Back when Paris and Nicole were merely peripheral members of the celebrity circus (oh how we long for those halcyon days!), PH tried to up her profile by parading around with Tinkerbell. And you know what, it worked. Images of Paris and her puny pooch are forever burned into our memories, no matter how many therapy sessions we pay for.

Courtesy dogs.thefuntimesguide.com

After seeing her press coverage, many other B-list celebs decided they couldn't leave the house without a doggie in tow either - which, in turn, begat the dog purse.

Courtesy www.pursepage.com

Not to be outdone by some bleach-blonde hussies, the A-listers decided they were going to one-up that accessoire-du-jour. Thus began the baby bump trend. Checkmate, Paris.

Courtesy www.wwtdd.com

Courtesy fisherwy.blogspot.com

And that's where we stood until Summer 08. But now, that whole baby thing is played out, too. So what's a girl to do if she's trying to look fashion forward on the red carpet? Well, let's ask Rihanna.

Fashion File: "Hey Rihanna, it's Fashion File."

Rihanna: "Oh hey Fashion File. Love the show!"

FF:"Thanks Ri-ri. You look amazing!"

R:"I know, right? It took me hours to get ready."

FF:"Really? But you're so naturally beautiful. What took so long?"

R:"Well I had to wait forever for my accessory to arrive. Check him out!"

FF:"Him?"

R:"Oh, Patches Magee, there. Nice one, Ri-ri. Where's his Harley? Parked out back, next to a couple of dead bodies?"

Yeah, kinda intense. Rihanna roles with the Hells Angels. Nothing says "don't step on my gown's train" like an organised criminal walking behind you.

But Rihanna isn't the only girl rocking the bodyguard look. After Nuclear Wintour had paint thrown on her by PETA...

Courtesy blogs.nypost.com

...she, too, decided to compliment her outfits with a couple of thuggy Adonises.

Courtesy gastrochic.blogspot.com

In fact, word is that Anna dashed out of Dennis Basso's latest show during New York Fashion Week, with the help of her burly sidekicks, even before the designer had finished taking his bow.

So there you go. If you want to be Vogue-chic, you better get yourself some brawn. Or at least dress up your little brother in Dad's suit, and slap a pair of Ray-bans on his pizza face. It's that, or a dog purse. And trust me, you do NOT want to be rifling through that yucky mess to find your lipstick in a pinch.

Posted by LUKE (with an assist to SAM)